Wow I am beginning to feel free again

Got an email from my sponsor...it was all about following your own path, trying for your dreams, focusing on what is really important in life. I don't want to spend my whole life working so hard. I am getting more and more certain that I will be choosing a more chill lifestyle soon!

Thought about reading some things. More excited about that. More excited about a lot of things, it is slowing beginning to seep back into me. Freedom.

It was so cool to read all those possible topics in phil mind. Why didn't I go in that direction? I know that I want to focus on practical concerns, too. And hanging out with T and P, I know that on some level, I am looking for a different scheme, that will solve things better. Still it is fun to hang out with them.

Gratitude list:

1. Kittehs
2. Next semester
3. New friends in AA (if I can make good!)
4. Vacation
5. Feeling coming back into the hands and feet
6. Portlandia

Imaginings:

1. Sewing stars onto jeans
2. Making my house more hospitable
3. Africa

Miami Obama Dream

I was in Miami, we got there in a canoe. It was foggy, like San Francisco or Portland, and I thought it probably wasn't usually like that, but it was incredibly beautiful. The water was brilliant blue, and there were craggy cliffs and hills, not what I was expecting. We came in along the shore, it was a bay, and we clung to the eastern edge, very close to the shore. Slowly everything began to funnel into a canal. The water was eventually drained out but we were moving along anyway on a conveyor, and then we began to rise up and see the whole sparkling, sunny, tropical, blue and green city and bay. We stayed on the canoe through the halls of an apartment building or hotel, and the walls were covered with blue-green grass that was gelatinous and doubled over on itself. Suddenly we were with Barack Obama in the building having a dinner in a private room. We were talking about what we might have done that would bar us from public office; I decided that being in AA was probably enough for me. But we didn't ask Obama. He hugged me and it was the warmest, most comforting thing I had felt in as long as I could remember. I was attracted to him, but it was also like a father. Then we were on the street and it was warm and beautiful and classy, not at all like what I had expected. Not trashy. We were in a street market, full of trendy goods, and Obama put his arm around my shoulder. "You give good hugs," I said. "If I ever need a hug, I am coming to Washington!" I felt special that he was there.

Gratitude list:

1. My sanity.
2. My family.
3. Being in a good mood today.
4. My cats: cuddling last night with C was amazing.
5. Call with RLA.

Imaginings:

1. Driving around South Florida with K on spring break.
2. Having a really successful book.

Gratitude list for today:

1. My dream job at RC
2. My kittehs
3. Karl
4. Sunny day
5. Katie ok

Imaginings:

1. Accepting happiness and finding that normal and safe
2. Swimming underwater where it's warm and clear and seeing fish, and having waves of real joy wash over me
3. Being onstage in front of a lot of people and doing something really profoundly beautiful